Friday, March 23, 2007

Emotional Eating

Okay--this has been a hellish week for me. As with any turmoil in my life I turn to the one thing that has always brought me comfort---food. Yup--I'm a bonafide food junkie. So now you know how I ended up weighing nearly 400lbs.

It's kinda hard to be a food junkie now with a stomach the size of an egg and eating anything with too high of carb content makes me physically ill. But there are ways around that too. Or as we say in the WLS circle--we eat around our pouch. I usually eat every 3-4 hours on a typical day, but this week I've been eating constantly. In other words--I've been grazing. Since I can't physically do the carbs--I turn to other things like deviled eggs, pickles, olives, or walnuts. I've eaten a whole jar of pickles, a couple dozen deviled eggs, handfuls of olives, and a whole 2 pound bag of walnuts. And that doesn't count what I've eaten at my "regular" meals.
I'm not a calorie counter but ---sheesh even I know those calories can add up in the long run.

But the real question is why do I do it. Why do I always eat when I'm stressed. I'm no longer looking for the quick fix that sugar used to give me. I got off that roller coaster when I had the surgery. But I'm still over eating.

Some say my body is craving something because I follow the low carb eating plan---they assume that my body is craving carbs. Sorry but I don't buy that. I've been doing just fine without them since 2004. But the food cravings are still there.
I think it comes down to how I was raised. Food was given as a reward for being good. And withheld when bad. So it is a learned behavior in my opinion. But for the life of me--I'm having a dickens of a time unlearning it.

Also we are a food obsessed society. When friends get together food is always involved. Be it a wedding, funeral, first date, or any type of social gathering. It is always about the food. We even have an entire network on TV devoted to it.
Have you ever just sat and counted the number of commercials on TV related to food? It is mind blowing. Everywhere you go you are bombarded with food. I live in a small southern town and we have nearly two dozen restaurants located here. Granted it is a college town but come on folks even college kids don't need 2 dozen restaurants.
Here I go rambling as usual--so back to my point.

Emotional eating affects just about everyone. You eat when you're happy, when you're sad, depressed, lonely, bored--yup boredom is an emotion too. So how do I deal with mine---apparently I eat---but I also talk about it alot with my therapist. Getting to the bottom of the whys and what fors helps me get a handle on it. It takes time, but at least I'm working on it. Now it is only pickles and such. That's a whole lot better than an entire chocolate cake like it used to be.

Oh well just one day at a time.....