Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Extended Holiday

With the beginning of summer just around the corner, I have decided to take an extended holiday. I'll be back no later than June 1st. I'm off to commune with nature. Discover the great outdoors. Do a little camping with my family.

Hope everyone remains well. So get out there and enjoy the beginning of summer.

Friday, May 18, 2007


I found out about this from Jon at Living With A Purple Dog----it's kinda cute--try out for yourself.....

Tuesday, May 15, 2007


Well I'm a day late in posting this weeks progress. Could be I'm ticked off about it. I GAINED 2 LBS. I mean I know it happens---that's why I've never been one to be a slave to a scale---it makes me nuts---even more so than normal....so I'm going back to just weighing once a month.

I mean, it's that TOM. So of course there is some gain with that. I was also able to finally fit into the shorts I was wearing last summer. So maybe I'm gaining muscle. Who knows, but I don't want to get all OCD about the scale.

As long as I follow my eating plan and not be a couch potato---I feel like I'm winning the battle--no matter what the dreaded scale has to say. My eating this week has been sporadic. By that I mean I have been forgetting to eat. I do this when I get busy doing other things. I've been extremely busy since last Thursday.

My parents are out of town. I've been doing alot of yard work around here while they're gone. I've also been doing some cleaning in their house. I like to help them out at times. They've been so good to me over the years. Anyhoo, with all the physical labor I've been doing, I'm sure to be getting enough exercise. I'm just probably not getting in enough calories. So will work on remembering to eat. I may have to do like when I first had surgery. I ate by the clock, because I was never hungry.

I'm gonna move my fatblogging to the first Monday of each month. So that ends it for now---we'll see how it all comes out next month.

Saturday, May 12, 2007


Ever feel like you're beating your head into a brick wall?? That's how I feel when I try to share with others about the need of fat in your diet. I'm so sick of all that low fat mumbo jumbo I could scream. You give them all the science behind it and they still spout low fat.

Dr Michael Eades had a post called --- Low fat isn't a science, it's a religion --- I firmly believe that all those people have been thoroughly brainwashed to believe that you can live without fat in your meals. They will agree in the concept of "good" fats, but every last one of them cringes at the mere mention of animal fat.

Then Jimmy Moore is always providing good research info in his posts like this one-- Butter Anyone? Defending Fat With Facts--here's an exert--but take time to read this whole post---shoot print it out and really take your time with it.

The Many Benefits of Saturated Fats

The much-maligned saturated fats - the ones Americans so desperately are trying to avoid - are not the cause of our modern diseases at all. In fact, they play many important roles in the body chemistry:

Saturated fatty acids constitute at least 50% of the cell membranes.
They are what gives our cells necessary stiffness and integrity.
They play a vital role in the health of our bones.
For calcium to be effectively incorporated into the skeletal structure, at least 50% of the dietary fats should be saturated.
They lower Lp(a), a substance in the blood that indicates proneness to heart disease.
They protect the liver from alcohol and other toxins, such as Tylenol.
They enhance the immune system.
They are needed for the proper utilization of essential fatty acids.
Elongated omega-3 fatty acids are better retained in the tissues when the diet is rich in saturated fats.
Saturated 18-carbon stearic acid and 16-carbon palmitic acid are the preferred foods for the heart, which is why the fat around the heart muscle is highly saturated. The heart draws on this reserve of fat in times of stress.
Short- and medium-chain saturated fatty acids have important antimicrobial properties.
They protect us against harmful microorganisms in the digestive tract.

The scientific evidence, honestly evaluated, does not support the assertion that "artery-clogging" saturated fats cause heart disease. Actually, evaluation of the fat in artery clogs reveals that only about 26% is saturated. The rest is unsaturated, of which more than half is polyunsaturated.

I'm working on a post dealing with this and how fat is important in the function of the brain. Especially someone who is diagnosed with a severe mental illness. So stay tuned.

Now maybe some of my WLS friends will take the time to read about the importance of fat.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Follow My Progress

I want to thank Sparky's Girl over at Healthy Low Carb Living Blog for telling posting about this Cool New Toy. You can see my current weight. Then roll over the start button and goal button to see my progress. There is a problem with the starting weight button though. Their program will only do weights between 350-50 lbs. My true start weight was 375lbs.

The hardest thing for me to do throughout this massive weight loss to really see it in myself. Looking in the mirror, I generally see that morbidly obese woman staring back at me. It does have a psychological term---body dysmorphia. It is usually applied to those suffering from eating disorders. But then again obesity is an eating disorder in itself. Or I guess you could say the consequence of an eating disorder.

So now you can follow me as I continue on this journey to once again reach my lowest weight. I hope to get a little help with that by having a bunch of skin removed. But gotta finally make time to see the plastic surgeon. I say I have about 20 lbs of excess skin----yeah, yeah---I know it's really not that much. But it sure does feel like it.

If you want to get your own virtual model--check out this site--- Cosmetic Makeovers.

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

SF Banana Pudding

Before I had my WLS, I had a long history of uncontrolled diabetes dating back to my 20's. Not knowing then what I know now about how to control it. Yeah I was a big carb eater back then. Alot of good it did me. Anyhoo----I took lots of my old time fav desserts and revamped them to make them SF. This is just one of them. I personally never partake of this anymore. But the family loves it.

SF Banana Pudding

2 small boxes SF banana cream pudding mix
3 cups cold milk
1 box SF Murray brand vanilla wafers
4-5 very ripe bananas, sliced
1 16 oz tub SF Cool Whip

Mix pudding mix and milk together until thicken.( You can put it in the fridge until thickened.) Stir in the vanilla wafers and bananas. Gently fold in 1/2 of the Cool Whip. Spoon into a bowl or Pyrex dish. Top with remaining Cool Whip. Place in fridge for at least 4 hours. Enjoy.

Like I said this is NOT something I eat myself. But the family loves it. Anything, to get them to cut down on their sugar consumption. Also it is another super quick and easy things you can prepare to take to family get togethers.

I have a vast recipe collection as I've stated before. I'm working on getting some together for Memorial Day---BBQ galore---so stay tuned.....

Peanut Butter Icebox Pie

With Mother's Day looming on the horizon, thought I would share one of my families favorite summer time pies. It has been revamped to be lower in carbs, but not totally. But it is SF. For a low carb version skip the crust and just dish it up in individual dessert dishes. That's what I do just for myself. Or you can get industrious and make a nut crust. this is what I make for the family get together.

Peanut Butter Icebox Pie

1 8oz pkg cream cheese, softened
1 c SF Peanut Butter---I use Peter Pan Brand, chunky
1 c bulk Splenda
1 8 oz SF Cool Whip
1 SF prepared graham cracker crust

Beat cream cheese, peanut butter and Splenda on high until creamy and smooth. Gently fold in Cool Whip until fully incorporated. Spoon into crust. Refrigerate for at least 4 hours before serving.

That's it, simple, quick and easy. For my own personal use I generally just whip up some heavy cream instead of using the Cool Whip. If you can't find the SF crust you can always make it using some of the Murry brand SF vanilla wafers, melted butter and a little Splenda. I've also been know to use some of the almond butter I order online when I make it just for me. Let me warn you ahead of time. This is a very rich tasting dessert. So a small portion is the way to go.

Monday, May 7, 2007


Well another weigh in day. I lost another pound. Not too shabby. As long as I keep true to my eating plan I'm so much happier. Before I know it I'll be back down to my lowest weight I had since my WLS. I want to hit the 130 mark. I believe for my height ---I'm a short thing of 5'2"---that is a reasonable goal.

I'm looking into having a tummy tuck done. Keep having to postpone my first appointment with the plastic surgeon. Something is always coming up. I've had some back problems due to the abundance of hanging skin on my abdomen. The neuro doc my PCP sent me to firmly believes if the excess skin is removed my back pain will be minimal. Right now they have me wearing this cumbersome support garment doohickey. It's just a glorified girdle, close to what they use in pregnant women to support them. It's a pain in the tushy to wear but it does what it's suppose to do.

Eating has been good this past week. It has been so hot here, haven't done too much cooking. Although I did grill out a few times. Found this awesome recipe over at Everyday Weekender for Cedar Plank Salmon---fabtabulous---and soooo easy to do. I even used this frozen whole fillet I got from Wal-mart. Since Saturday was Cinco de Mayo I did some fajitas on the grill, beef and chicken.

Exercise is never too good. I despise any real formal type of exercise. I get enough moving around in my day to day life. With all the house cleaning and yard work I obsess about, why do I need to do any weight training or stuff---throwing around heavy loads of manure, mulch, potting soil beats the heck out of going to the gym. I really need to find my podometer to see just how many steps I take a day. Heck I'm in a manic phase right now---I don't sleep much less sit still for very long. Have been hopping up and down for the better part of the day. I'll write a bit then off to do something.

Oh well that's it for this week---still keeping it honest there y'all......

Sunday, May 6, 2007

A Time for Reflection....

Well here I sit...it's the wee hours of the morning and I'm awake. Could it be I'm still awake or that I'm waking up this early? It doesn't really matter which it is....I'm kinda in a manic mode and can't sleep. I always turn to the net when I can't sleep...it's calming to me.

I've had lots to think about lately. I just reached a big milestone in my life. Yesterday marked my 3 year surgiversary. For those who don't recognize that term, that's WLSese for it's been 3 years since my surgery. I was real busy all day so didn't think much about it. Well in all honesty I thought it was the 4th. My mom is the one who told me it was the 5th. She has it marked on her calender.

So much has happened to me these past 3 years. This past year has been extremely difficult. But being the sponge for knowledge that I am, I've learned alot about dealing with Bipolar Disorder after having WLS. I've been speeding through cyberspace reading everything I can Google about it. Anything I thought might pertain to what I went through, I've researched it. I found tons of sites and those sites led me to still other sites and so on and so forth....

Although many people are embarking on this journey of living life after WLS, there is still so much we do not know about it's long term effects. Forms of WLS have been around for over 2 decades. The popularity of them has surged in the past five years. There is no across board standard of care, be it pre or post op. It varies by surgeon and surgery obtained. As one of my friends over in the LAWLS Neighborhood has stated....we are pioneers in this for those who come after us.

As I wrote in a previous post, two thirds of those having WLS have a history of some sort of severe mental illness. Mostly major depression, but there were others noted also. So in a sense things I'm going through my be relevant to them one day. That is why I started this blog. I have had an online journal for as long as I've had a computer, but I've always kept it private. They'll stay that way. They are only for my deepest personal thoughts.

This blog was started to serve a purpose. Well, purposes to be exact. First and foremost is to show that recovery is possible when you are diagnosed with a severe mental illness. Also to raise awareness in the general public about mental illness. Then there is the WLS issues. Here I want to share some of my knowledge with those wishing to have surgery. I also want to leave a lasting record of my journey, the good, the bad and the ugly. Then there are the combined issues of Bipolar disorder and WLS. Then of course there is my way of eating----strictly low carb. I want to give people the actual science behind why it works so they will quit with all that low fat mumbo jumbo. Matter of fact I've got a doozy of a post I'm working on that's gonna knock you over. So stay tuned. Then of course there are my social, political causes. But on to my reflective thoughts.

A question was posed in the Neighborhood yesterday to list why we love having had WLS. Most answered with things they can now do that they couldn't do as morbidly obese individuals. You wouldn't think something simple as being able to tie your own shoes, or not have to be a contortionist to wipe yourself after using the john would mean so much to people, but it does. It's the little everyday things that skinny people take for granted. Being able to fit in an airplane seat and buckle the seat belt, not having to look for the strongest chair to sit or having one stick to your rear end when you get up, or having to be smarter, funnier, always positive, a real over achiever just to prove yourself worthy of even existing. Everyone is judged on their looks. It's not right, it's not fair, it just is. Also it is still accepted in our society to poke fun at, tease, belittle someone who is obese. Who am I kidding they make fun of anyone who is different. But that is another pet peeve of mine, better left for another time.

I went at the question of what I love since having WLS a little differently from everyone else. For me it so much more than being able to tie my shoes and stuff. Even coming off all the meds I did for my diabetes, high blood pressure and other things isn't it. It really just boils down to me having a life I now deem worthy enough to actually live it.

I did a post recently dealing with suicide . I spent 2 weeks in intensive care following my last attempt. They didn't know if I would pull through or not from the damage done to myself. That's what landed me in the state hospital for a year. Coming back across that line was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. I know in my heart of hearts, that if I had not had WLS I would not be sitting here today. I would have ended back in the deep dark pit .......but this time I would have stayed......never to rise again....

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Take the Honesty List Challenge

Alrighty folks--my fav ladies over at The Diet Pulpit have issued a challenge.

Accept the Challenge today and create the life you dream of.

Share your Honesty List in the comments here or on your blog - let us know and we will link back to you on our Honesty List Challenge page (a link back to us would be nice but not required).

It can be about any positive change you need to make to get healthy and be happy. Being honest with yourself, and making it public is a great way to keep motivated to reach your goals. We’d love to hear about your goals, honesty list, and updates on your progress too, so keep us posted.

At the end of 2003 I found myself to be nearly 400lbs, on several insulin injections a day, numerous other meds for high blood pressure, diabetes, high cholesterol; almost to the point of needing a wheelchair to get around. Already on disability due to severe health problems and serious mental health crisis. I rarely left my home. I ended up having WLS in May 2004 and by the end of 2 yrs had lost 245lbs. I was at an all time low weight of 130 lbs. But I had gained so much more in that time. I was off all the meds for all my health problems except the mental illness--brain disorder is a better term. These meds had been lowered also. I was tons more active than I've ever been in my entire life.

But as with any weight loss for me there was a state of rebound. I had regained up to 165lbs. My big downfall is carbohydrates---there are medical reasons why this is so for someone with Bipolar disorder, but that will need to be in another post. I lost my weight by following a ketogenic way of eating--new buzz word for low carb--I kept my carbs below 30gms a day for two years. With my weight gain they had gone way up---daily average was well over 150gms....cringe...and some days was even more.

Y'all wanted honesty---here's your honesty. Due to the surgery---I can not eat anything with too high of a glycemic value without getting deathly ill. By deathly ill, I mean nausea, sweating, dizziness, heart palpitations, stumbling around, rapid pulse,...not a great feeling. So you would think that this alone would keep me on the true and narrow----nope. How many people do you know who would continually make themselves this sick on purpose---just to have a bite of chocolate, or a serving of pasta, or potatoes,....me, that's who.

The kicker was what it did to my psyche. I ended up hospitalized with a severe depressive episode. While in the hospital---I got back in to my ketogenic way of eating and started back exercising and did much better.

The past month I was following Atkins's induction---very strict low carb, <20gms/day. I'm happy to announce the scale is moving. I'm still not that swooft on my "organised" exercise. But I do so much around here that is physical, it more than compensates. I'd much rather spend the day working in the yard than a few hours at a gym. I tote huge bags of soil, manure, mulch. Plus we've been clearing some land---so there's all those dead shrubs, vines, etc to be carted off.I'm also staying true with my fatblogging---I'm trying to update each week on my progress.

So there you have it ladies---one honest and true list....thanks for the challenge. Anyone else up for it???


Okay---weight this week is much better. I dropped a pound. I know only one pound but that is better than none. Food choices have been good. Staying on the lower end of the carb scale---averaging around 30gms a day.

As for as exercise goes---I'm not too big on an organized routine of exercise. I do go to my water yoga twice a week right on schedule...but as far as anything else goes---nahhhh. I have been doing alot of work outside in the yard. It gets pretty physical...by then end of the day I'm so pooped all I do is take a hot bath and crash.

My plan is to keep on the way I have been. Although am having some issues with not getting enough fiber---but that is an old thing with me. Will just increase my fiber supplement to twice a day, no biggie....

That's it for this week...on to other things...