Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Home Again

Well, I'm home from my "mental health" vacation. I didn't realize how stressed out I had become. I arrived at the campground early in the morning. I got my camp set up, had lunch, took a walk, sat down in my lounge chair and fell fast asleep. I slept the entire afternoon. I got up ate, took another walk, made a fire, sat back down and fell asleep again. I then took another short walk and went right to bed and slept all night long. All this sleeping is something I just do not do. Most days I only get 5 hours of sleep, max. And then only if I'm zonked out on my meds.

I spent the remainder of the days there doing some hiking, visiting with fellow campers, and lots of reading. I finished Gary Taubes' book and will be doing a review of it later. I started Dr McCleary's book also, but have yet to finish it. I also read some good ol' romance novels, just for pure entertainment. Here again that is something I rarely do. Most of my reading is of the research kind or some self help book, generally all non fiction.

It is sad that I feel compelled to do that. I feel that my time has to always be productive. That I always have to be accomplishing something. Seldom taking time to just do something for the enjoyment of it. Don't get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with being goal oriented. But having "down time" is critical too. I have a tendency to feel guilty when I take "me" time. I think that is something taught to girls from the crib. Alot has to do with my obsessive compulsive personality.

I guess it really goes back to my days of being morbidly obese. I was the consummate overachiever. I had to be the best and brightest. I still think that way. But I'm determined now that I will begin taking more time to just stop and unwind. Find some things just to do for fun. No particular goal in mind. It will take time I'm sure. But as I've said before, I'm a work in progress.


Carol Bardelli said...

Glad you had a great, relaxing vacation. I'm often guilty of the "productive" syndrome too. My husband just told me yesterday after I hurt myself (minor aggravation of recurring tendonitis) doing back to back days of Power 90X, "Give it a rest, will ya. You do too much."

I'm reading Taubes book now. Mind blowing isn't it.

Cindy Moore said...

Oh boy, would I like a vacation like yours!! After I get moved and alone I'll be thrilled....but until then, it's me and the pups and my son.

Downtime is critical!! I spent a lazy week in Hilton Head with a friend in August....and felt so much better after!

Sandi said...

I'm glad that you're back. I always miss you in the N'hood!!!