Yesterday was the 4th anniversary of my WLS.
WOW......what a difference a year makes.
I had a heck of a post all planned to post yesterday. Going into all the new problems that have cropped up for me thanks to the WLS. But in writing that post I wanted to go back and read what I wrote last year. I won't post it all but here is a part that made me stop and think.....
A question was posed in the Neighborhood yesterday to list why we love having had WLS. Most answered with things they can now do that they couldn't do as morbidly obese individuals. You wouldn't think something simple as being able to tie your own shoes, or not have to be a contortionist to wipe yourself after using the john would mean so much to people, but it does. It's the little everyday things that skinny people take for granted. Being able to fit in an airplane seat and buckle the seat belt, not having to look for the strongest chair to sit or having one stick to your rear end when you get up, or having to be smarter, funnier, always positive, a real over achiever just to prove yourself worthy of even existing. Everyone is judged on their looks. It's not right, it's not fair, it just is. Also it is still accepted in our society to poke fun at, tease, belittle someone who is obese. Who am I kidding they make fun of anyone who is different. But that is another pet peeve of mine, better left for another time.You can read the rest of the post for more of my reflections.
I went at the question of what I love since having WLS a little differently from everyone else. For me it so much more than being able to tie my shoes and stuff. Even coming off all the meds I did for my diabetes, high blood pressure and other things isn't it. It really just boils down to me having a life I now deem worthy enough to actually live it.
I did a post recently dealing with suicide . I spent 2 weeks in intensive care following my last attempt. They didn't know if I would pull through or not from the damage done to myself. That's what landed me in the state hospital for a year. Coming back across that line was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. I know in my heart of hearts, that if I had not had WLS I would not be sitting here today. I would have ended back in the deep dark pit .......but this time I would have stayed......never to rise again....
I admit, I got a wee bit emotional reading my own words.
A second post came out of it singing the praises of WLS and thanking the higher powers that I am even here to see another day. Right before I hit the publish button. I had a chilling revelation......one of the biggest reasons I was so miserable being fat (miserable enough to contemplate suicide) was how I was viewed by others. Then I got mad......another post came out of that. Well it's not getting published either.
My reflections are really just this.......being fat is not bad for your health. But in this thin crazed, fat-phobic world of ours being fat is the worst thing you can be. I was accepting of that fact last year by saying it was just the way it was. I've realized I don't have to accept societies views. Discrimination sucks on all levels. So Fat Acceptance and Health at Every Size is my newest cause.
WLS is not the answer for what ails you---accepting yourself as you are is a strong key to a better life and better health. So I'm joining a fellow blogger who had WLS, Big Fat Delicious, in declaring a war on WLS and dieting.